A Deeper Dive Into My Week
A Deeper Dive Into My Week

A Deeper Dive Into My Week

Another week, another lesson..

Dear friends, family and others,

I am currently sitting in a cafe I have always been eyeing but have never been inside. It is called Busy Bee, and it is a chain in Malta. I’m not sure exactly if it is Maltese per se, but I’ve only ever seen them here. What attracted me about this specific cafe is the high ceilings and delicious array of pastries in the display cases.

I’m here because I had just finished a nail appointment nearby, which went

badly, unfortunately. Almost every time without fail, something goes wrong.

This time, the electricity went out when she had just started. We hoped it would come back by the time she needed to use her machines, but it only came back when we finished everything — without machines. We ended up doing a regular manicure, which for me only lasts a few days, because I work a lot with my hands. I ended up paying almost full price, and I can’t help but think that there is some kind of lesson that is being taught to me — yet I don’t see it.

Anyways, enough complaining about the simplest things. Let me get into my week.

My therapist seems to have finally said something useful to me. I was feeling overwhelmed looking into my week, especially after having had quite the exciting weekend watching Coldplay in Warsaw. In fact, it was such a memorable moment, that we all felt so grateful to be there, and believed that it was the best experience ever. The band was truly magical, and I felt alive and joyful throughout the concert. The thing I will remember the most is how Chris Martin found a Ukrainian busker in Warsaw and invited him to play at the concert. It was a beautiful moment, and reminded me how lucky I am to live in a country where the sky is clear, and my family is safe. These things I will forever hold as a privilege.

Coming back to Malta was a bit of a reality check, as I had a crazy week ahead. Things ended up piling up one after the other, and before I knew it, I didn’t know how to cancel any of them. I won’t get into the details, but it seemed like no matter how much I tried to rationalize or process the week,

I couldn’t keep my sympathetic system at bay. Luckily, I had a therapy session on Monday, and he made me realize a few things. First, that I was probably hormonal, and second, that I wasn’t really being honest with myself. Was I doing all these things for me, or because I thought they were EXPECTED of me?

To tell you the truth, I genuinely thought that I wanted and needed to do all of these things, but I needed to do a deeper dive within. I realized that I did want to do these things once they were already planned, but the act of planning them was the mistake. I would agree to things from the point of view of FOMO, as well as YOLO. It’s really hard to maintain a balance with myself and doing all these cool things. From now on, I will be much more conscious about actually PLANNING my week, as well as reminding myself that I don’t ACTUALLY need to try everything and everyone once. Some things in life are better left unexplored, to leave space for that which I already love.

So that was a glimpse into my inner world.

Let me give you a quick update on what I have actually been doing, without the obscurities. I went to the Malta Jazz Festival, where I heard Jazz in such a cool and modern way. You can hear an excerpt of it in my next travel vlog. I also went to the Malta Food Festival (twice), where there was over 500 different dishes to try. I opted for Vietnamese and Japanese, some of my favourites. A really cool thing happened this week as well. When I was in Warsaw to see Coldplay, I wouldn’t shutup about my plan to become a busker in Vienna. In fact, I am actively going to start looking at options to leave Malta ASAP, as I really need to try this idea out, even if it doesn’t work out. I NEED to try, I need to see.

So the day after I came back to Malta, I joined my roommate Klara at a bar which had live music, except I joined after the act was done. Klara introduced me to her lovely artistic friends, some of which I got to know better throughout the night. In fact, one of them was hosting casual jam sessions for the past few weeks, and invited me to join. He also mentioned that he had a busking gig this week, and if I wanted to I could join.

I couldn’t believe it. I truly believe I manifested this encounter, because I have never spoken or thought about this idea as much as I did last weekend.

On Thursday, I performed at a bar for the first time with other musicians. It was amazing. We had quite an interesting setlist, and my songs included Beatles hits, some Amy Whinehouse, and even some Mac Demarco, a Canadian singer-songwriter. Some excerpts of our performance will be available on my YouTube channel shortly. I had such a fun night, all while doing exactly what I love, among such lovely people. We are hoping to do these every other week, and meeting throughout the week to polish our repertoire.

Today I spent my time organizing myself for the week, and almost have no plans coming up, which makes me so happy. I much more enjoy having an unpacked schedule and letting the universe hand me opportunities and signs. Every time I do this, wonderful things happen. Let’s see what will happen this time.

Yours truly,

Nastia

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